New Delhi, Sep 21 — N Jagadeesan used to begin each domestic season by calculating numbers in his head. These many in the first game and second match will be needed by the season's end so that the selectors would find it hard to look past him. The method was sound in the quest to play for India, but it was also ruining him.

"I was very motivated to be part of the Indian team and in terms of being part of the Indian team, the things what I wanted to do in the domestic circuit was something which I had thought even before the season had started. I had my own goals as to how many runs I need to score in first game and second game, how much do I score?

"But when you actually have a plan of that sort, it is more often than not that it doesn't go to your plan and all of a sudden, when it doesn't go to your plan, you feel a lot of pressure. Once the pressure hits you, you no longer play your game and you don't enjoy the sport.

"You just end up taking the pressure too much and not expressing yourself on the field. So, I feel there was a time in my career where I felt that I was taking a lot of pressure - thinking of selections, my result, the amount of runs I am scoring and stuff. So, that was really taxing on me and it wasn't the best feeling I had because the love for the sport had not been there.

"So, the only thing what I wanted to do was to get the love back of the sport because the day I started playing cricket was just to enjoy the sport as it is and not think about anything else," Jagadeesan told IANS in a chat ahead of India A's series against Australia A, which begins in Puducherry on Tuesday.

Needing a mindset shift and regaining the joy of playing cricket, Jagadeesan found a mentor in former India batter and his ex-Chennai Super Kings team-mate Robin Uthappa. At some point, Uthappa mentioned something about Jagadeesan’s stance and weight transfer. Though both soon went out once CSK released them, Jagadeesan remembered it and implemented it in his batting.

In the 2022/23 Vijay Hazare Trophy, Jagadeesan was in a magical run-making spree - 830 runs in eight games with five hundreds. After hitting the fifth century, his phone rang. It was Uthappa on the other side and asking what he had done to his batting to get these monstrous runs. Jagadeesan, unable to work out why a player of that standing would bother, told him about the advice he gave which he implemented.

With no band-aid of an IPL contract, Jagadeesan wanted a mentor who had been inside the India set-up and would help him achieve his ambition – a perfect setting for Uthappa, a member of 2007 T20 World Cup winning team, to come in. "We were just talking about life and all of a sudden, I just asked him, I really want to have someone who actually mentors me. I want to play for India - that's my goal.

“I want someone who can guide me through the journey to play for India and out of nowhere, he was like, ‘you know what, buddy? I am actually looking for someone and I want to give back to the game,’” he recalled.

Uthappa put him on a call the next day and began speaking almost constantly for a week. "By having my own process, creating, how I look at life on a daily basis. These are the things in nature that I had a solid foundation on and then came technical stuff. So, in those manner, the last three years have been a blessing for me with Robin in my life and he has actually made me a different person altogether."

He no longer uses the word mentor to describe Uthappa. "He is family to me right now and we are very close. No matter what it is, it is not just cricket. But if there is anything in my life also, I would go to him for sure."

Ask what enjoyment means and he also points at the sports he is not paid to play. "Let's say if I got to play golf or paddle, I don't go there to win-win-win. It is just about enjoyment for me. But I am doing something which I love and that's playing a sport – which is cricket. So, I need to be really grateful for playing this sport and very important to give credit to a lot of people for allowing me to be in this sport.

"That's when I feel the joy for the sport goes down. Seriousness is there for sure, but I feel the greediness to be in another place takes over and it becomes all compiled together saying that I want to be there, I want to be there. But in the process, you just forget to enjoy," he added.

In 2025, Jagadeesan, who via making 816 and 674 runs in 2023/24 and 2024/25 Ranji Trophy seasons for Tamil Nadu, got into India ‘A’ and targeted players pool, was at home in Coimbatore and eating lunch, when a BCCI official rang to seek his passport details. He was told he might be required in England for the fifth Test at The Oval as a replacement for Rishabh Pant, who fractured his right foot in Manchester.

"It was out of the blue. But at the same time, even at that point of time, it wasn't like I was resting or something. I was still doing my own process and practicing. It was a constant run for me. It has become my everyday life that I always try to practice each and every day.

“Whether there is a tournament or not, it is very important for me to stay prepared because you really don't know when the opportunity is going to knock your door. As usual, my life routines were the same and out of the blue, I got this call from someone. Before I knew it, I was there in the Indian team."

Though Jagadeesan did not play the Oval Test, as Dhruv Jurel replaced Pant in the playing eleven, the match was roughly 80-20 England's way before India's quicks, led by Mohammed Siraj, pulled it back on the final day and sealed a win for the ages.

"It was unreal, to be honest, because it was also my first experience with the Indian team and to be part of a match which was thrilling right from the beginning till the end, is a moment where I would definitely cherish for a very long time.

“On the last day, all of a sudden, the way the fast bowlers came into the game and picked up wickets in terms of Siraj, Akash Deep, Prasidh and all these people - how they got us back into the game, especially starting by dismissing Joe Root, was something really special. It was a lot of fun and surely indeed was one of the best victories."

Though Jagadeesan travelled with India A to red-ball games in Sri Lanka, which they won 1-0, he did not play both games. "Obviously, it hurts when you don't play in the eleven. But that's not really in your control because you can do what's there in your control. That is basically me focusing on my training, my practice, my diet, and the way I do my things. Once I started enjoying, which is all well within my control, so when I don't get selected, I don't get sad.

“When I get selected, I don't get happy. You need to find a space where you feel neutral about everything. So, I feel that was the kind of state I was in. Yes, I was in Sri Lanka. First and foremost, there are a billion people who want to play for India, India A and stuff.

“So, gratitude is something really important and I am just grateful that I was there in India A set up. I was one amongst the millions. So, that was very special for me and it doesn't matter if I play or not. It is just about soaking in the feeling and being at the present and living inside my bubble."

Some of the recovered head space went into technical work. His batting was built for accumulation, which suits red-ball cricket but needed more adjustment to suit T20s. Ability alone would not have closed that gap, he says, and the remodelling was mostly about aggression by intent rather than circumstance.

The results came in sequence: after breaking into red-ball side of things, there was a hundred for India ‘A’ in a T20 World Cup warm-up game against UAE, which he still calls surreal. None of it felt like his own achievement, he says - only that entourage of his family, father, childhood coach, Narsimha and Uthappa - knew what it took to reach there.

"From the outside, it just seems like a selection. But the kind of effort that went through inside with the number of hours we put in for practice, your training, your gym and other than cricket, the life choices that I had to make.

"I feel I am truly blessed to have such people in my life. 100 percent - it comes straight from my heart. The best part is never getting satisfied and trying to be better than what you want," said Jagadeesan.

His last assignment involved keeping relentlessly even as East Zone compiled close to 1200 runs across roughly 270 overs against South Zone in the Duleep Trophy final in Chennai weather that does not negotiate.

“It was one of the most gruelling matches I have played. It's just part and parcel of the game. It was a new experience and it's not like always that you get to stand on the field which is not something that I would like to do a lot. But still, this was an experience.”

On the Puducherry pitch, his lone appearance came in a Deodhar Trophy match with a white ball, and a change of ball colour, he notes, changes a pitch entirely. Red soil or black, he could not say. Preparation for the duel against Australia ‘A’ has been standard: a camp in Bengaluru, the squad training and living together. Away from cricket he plays any sport going, and after that, seeing anything on Netflix in any language.

At home, Jagadeesan’s Test jersey hangs framed, much to the delight to him and his father. “That's something which is very precious to me and the jersey which I got for the first time is something which is going to be really close to me.”

The shirt has his name and jersey number on it. That, he says, is what keeps him going to chase the goal of playing for India, while enjoying everything coming his way. “I am very excited towards it because every cricketer who wants to play cricket, their ultimate dream is to be part of the Indian team. With me especially getting a taste of what Indian cricket is for being in the Oval Test and the West Indies series.

“It has obviously given me a lot of confidence and only makes me want to be there in the set-up each and every time they play a series. It's just about being in that spot again and again and anytime you want to be there in the Indian side. So, obviously, you have got a jersey with your number and name on it and that only motivates you and you want to make sure that you be there constantly.”

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